Tuesday, May 18, 2010

'Already' and 'Still'

I can not forget yet, the time when I met an old friend who's got married. It was an ordinary day, I went to workplace through the street to the place where I stop the public transportation. On the way, I saw a familiar face smiling at me near some women, in front of a local play group and kindergarten.

"Hi! How are you?"

"Hi! Just fine!" I answered her while my brain was trying to remember who she was. O, she is Widya, my heart was tickled.

"When (would you get married)? My daughter is this kindergarten's student already."

I just could smile at her, hope it's only that. I hate to make it as serious thing, because I could feel like the claimed one.

"Some day," I answered her, to make it really stop. I have to continue to go to work.

On the way, I only could say, that she said wrong. As a mother, she still had to think about her children until the kids can handle their own life. It consist of prime things; what to wear, what to eat and drink, home place, education, faith, etc... and it need so long process. More than just money we need. Simply, it's not an easy thing to decide.

Okay, she wasn't absolutely wrong. She just wanted me to use the time to build what (almost) every women dream: having a happy family. But we had different way to see this.I didn't like to make it as my dream only (if I'll do it) but the more important is for the children's dream. I hated to make them being ignored because I find no way to help, in the worst possibilities.

She said 'already' for I had do nothing compared with her progress, meanwhile it mean she also had to think 'still' to realize the process, to continue the next step. This is what we say dare to do, dare to take consequence.


  1. Sometimes, we should delay getting pregnant for a better future of our kids.
    Can't have children if pregnancy's purpose is only for fulfilling our ego of becoming a mom.

  2. I agree with you, Vicky. We have to understand, not to make them as our unexpected problem someday.

  3. If I meet someone who ask me the question, "when will you getting marry?", I just can smile and say, "Kapan2"...
    But, the truth is, I wanna say to her, "don't ask me, please. ask GOD. Cause I don't know when, even I want to do it".

  4. I do too, Mirna. Better to say "kapan2" than to make them comment unplasant thing. I just consider if adults wanna have children for their ego only or not. :D